You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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