woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
