All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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