But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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