none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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