Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
