So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
