porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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