Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
