Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
