so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
