Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
