Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
