So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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