My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize