if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
