i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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