The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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