wanna go halves on a baby?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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