Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
