pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
