i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
