apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
