hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Drake has all the answers
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
