He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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