nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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