u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
All I want is dick and wine.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
