Do you still have your period?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
