im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
