Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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