you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I had to cum in my sink.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
