Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
