She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
