just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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