I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
