this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
