The maid of honor just puked.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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