My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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