rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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