I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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