Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
