I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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