I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
