she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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