My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
