i permit you to call me
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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