Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
