theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
