is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
