She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
