the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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