fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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