I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
