I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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