Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
