we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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