I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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