DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
should my penis look like a turkey
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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