i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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