i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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