I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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