You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you would pick up someone in the library
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
