so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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